Mt. Vernon Register-News

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September 3, 2010

Area man honored upon retirement after 50 years in social services field

MT. VERNON — While raising their children in Carmi during the 1960s, Harold and Barbara Winder would often hear the anxious tap of a child at their front door.

“Can Harold come out and play?” a little boy would ask.

The question aimed at the man who would spend approximately the next 50 years in the social services field, meant the boy knew Winder would build things or play with him, Barbara Winder explained. The couple initially began opening their home to children from the Baptist Children’s Home in Carmi.

“We got a call about a girl with four siblings at the Home,” Harold recalled. “And the others were going to be leaving, but this one girl didn’t have a place to go. Very quickly we became foster parents, and our children — who were in grade school then — were thrilled to have a big sister.”

Becoming foster parents was not a decision the Winders took lightly, Barbara said.

“We talked with our children before we did anything,” she said. “Our children were part of our decision to become foster parents.”

As they continued to open their home to more children, the Winders were eventually approached by a social worker to become a transitional home for newborns up for adoption.

“We would keep babies two to three weeks at a time, and the adoptive parents would come and talk with us and the social worker,” Harold said.

Even though knowing the babies would eventually be taken into a new home, it was easy for the Winders and their children to fall in love with the little ones.

“One day I was holding this little girl and bottle feeding her, and I just knew I would be getting a call soon. I’d had her about two weeks,” Barbara said.

Despite the heartache that came from watching the little girl given to new parents, the Winders say they were blessed in having her, even if for only a short time.

“That baby came back to visit us two years ago,” Harold said. “She wanted to know where she spent the first two weeks of her life. That’s the payoff for us. That baby today is a teacher in Texas.”

After that, in the late 1970s, the couple became house parents at the Baptist Children’s Home, where they would be for the next 10 years.

“We still have a boy that calls us occasionally,” Harold said.

“Harold is probably one of the most compassionate people I know,” remarked Hope Carbonaro, foster care/clinical supervisor at Catholic Social Services. “I’ve worked with him since 1989.”

Both Harold and Carbonaro met at Hudelson House (now One Hope United) in Centralia. After working there a couple of years, Carbonaro moved on to the United Methodist Children’s Home, bringing Harold with her, where he worked as a residential supervisor. The two eventually left UMCH to open a private practice together, which lasted about six years. Finally, the pair ended up at CSS, where he became a case assistant, helping to transfer children to visit with their families.

“He has a strong Christian faith and that bleeds over into everyone he has contact with,” Carbonaro added. “He’s also a minister, loves children and their families. He’s a patient, caring man — all the good stuff.”

Harold says he doesn’t believe he ever just worked with children and their families.

“There’s more emotion to it than just helping,” he said. “It’s not hard to fall in love with a 4-year-old girl — that’s pretty easy. But I tried to give them some direction because their living arrangements were not always good. So I tried to do what I can so they can trust you.”

Harold officially retired recently from CSS and was given a plaque of appreciation, and was the guest of honor during a luncheon Thursday.

“I’ll miss these workers,” he said. “My job was to harass them — in a humorous way. But there’s some special people here to me and I’ve enjoyed the work here.”

“I’m going to miss him,” Carbonaro said. “He’s been with me too long.”

And now that retirement is here for the Winders, they say they’re going to be busy with their family, their faith and following their grandsons’ track careers.

“Both my children work with people,” Harold said. “In a way, they’ve followed us in people care. That makes me feel good that I’ve left that legacy.”

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